


Je m'en vais

by litmilkovich



Series: Sans le dire [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Breakup, M/M, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-31 00:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13963899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litmilkovich/pseuds/litmilkovich
Summary: They love each other, but it's not the same anymore.s5e7





	Je m'en vais

**Author's Note:**

> Title loosely translates to, "I'm leaving."

Ian was fucking relentless, and Mickey hated how much it reminded him of when they were kids.

The curb he sat on to ineffectively shake off Ian was cold, cooled by the summer night. He pulled roughly from his dying cigarette and put it out on the concrete by his foot just in time for Ian to come out of the bar and plop beside him. “Boyfriend seems nice, ‘cept for the punching part,” his tone was wistful and absently sarcastic.

After Mickey’s boyfriend punched Ian in the face, they’d eventually wound up at a local bar, shared a drink, kissed. The night was fucked and it was all Mickey’s fault. He turned to face Ian, throwing whatever resolve he had left to the wind, “I do love you, you know.” He was sincere, honest. It was time to get everything out in the open.

His heart clenched when Ian shifted to face him, a soft and genuine smile playing on his lips, “I love you, too.”

“It’d be easy to go back to our life together, if what you’re saying is true. About staying here with me,” his eyes danced over Ian’s face, searching. He didn’t know what for.

“Okay.. good,” his tone was gentle, like everything was fine. It wasn’t.

“But it’s not who we are anymore,” he tacked on, turning his head away again.

“Could be,” Ian’s response was quick, like it was so fucking easy when it _wasn’t_.

“It’s not who I am anymore,” he willed himself not to look at Ian’s face. He was reminded of the words Ian said to him before leaving him, that he spoke so simply. _This isn’t me anymore_.

“I’m not going anywhere, Mickey,” he said, tone firm.

“Why’re you doing this?” Mickey asked tiredly, facing him again. It was too damn hard to be in this position again. He couldn’t ever win.

“Cause—, because we were _right_ together, Mick. We _are_ right together. I want us to have a life, here, anywhere. Just, tell me you want the same thing.”

He sounded so earnest, so determined. Mickey found himself wondering why Ian Gallagher chased him only when he didn’t want to be caught.

He smiled bitterly and turned his head towards the sky, “part’a me does want that,” he sniffed. “But I need somethin’ else now,” he didn’t care that there were tears threatening to fall down his face.

“Your boyfriend?” The lilt of distaste in his tone wasn’t lost on Mickey.

“I dunno,” he shook his head, licking his lips. “But I know it’s not you.”

Ian looked at his face, then at the ground. Mickey knew doing this was now or never. He was going to end this once and for all, for both their sakes. “You have to let me go,” the tears were ready to spill any moment, his eyes shining wetly in the moonlight. “You have to let me let _you_ go,” the tears fell, his voice slightly warbled with tears. It hurt, it hurt so fucking bad to do this. He’d been through this pain too many times, “I need you to do that for me.”

Ian said nothing and leaned in to kiss him after a long look at his face. Mickey turned his head with a shaky inhale, knowing if he kissed him he’d be done for, he’d give in again like he always had. Not this time, not anymore. He stared dead ahead of him with a blank look, heart squeezing in his chest.

Ian seemed to finally, _finally_ get the message. Mickey couldn’t quite tell if it hurt more than if he continued to persist. Ian stood and began to walk away, stopping before he turned to look at his ex lover. “Take care of yourself, Mickey Milkovich.”

Mickey cracked a sad, nostalgic smile. Flashes of memory flashed through his brain of a scrawny freckle faced Ian, of hiding in the storage of Kash N’ Grab. Of his first kiss, his first time. His first love. “You take care of _your_ self, Ian Gallagher.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. Please leave feedback and requests for this series :)


End file.
